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 Amusing Away Messages

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AuthorMessage
Elfie Dumbledore
Retired Headmistress : Mick, Snape, The Doctor and Edward Cullen - the men in my life!!
Retired Headmistress : Mick, Snape, The Doctor and Edward Cullen - the men in my life!!
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-02-21
Number of posts : 15397
Location : In the land where purple snapes walk
Real First Name : Sharon
Warning :
1 / 31 / 3

House : I didn't retire...I surrendered!
Crest :
Wand : Exam not taken
Award Bar :
100 / 700100 / 700


PostSubject: Amusing Away Messages   Mon Jan 14 2008, 14:44

Amusing Away Messages


I came across some amusing away messages that some people stick in their profiles/signatures and/or IM profiles when away from the computer for either a short while or a long while.

I thought id put a few here - add some more if you know any

My stomach is growling and I'm answering.

Hello. Is your fridge running? Well mine is and I'm around the house trying to catch it. So I'll be back later.

Away message:To be continued...

Gone crazy. Be back soon.

Sorry I'm not here right now, I'm lost in thought and seeing as it's unfamiliar territory I might be gone for a while.

Computer $1000
Internet subscription $30 a month
MSN Messenger $0
Keeping you busy with this away message: PRICELESS

I'm walking my goldfish. Be right back.

I'm spinning in my new expensive computer chair. So I'm away... Now I'm back... Away again... Back!.. And away..

Hello
from the Community of the Insane Asylum! We are sorry to announce that
the occupant of this screen name is not here right now. They are
currently rocking to-and-fro in a straight jacket, in a padded room.
Please leave a message and they will get back to you as soon as they
have regained sanity. Which may take quite a while, but we hope that
you care enough about them to wait.

I
can't talk on the computer now, so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on
the computer now, I mean, like, I'm at the computer NOW, writing this
message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except
for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like,
wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.

Did you know by reading this message you have wasted 14 seconds of your life?



_________________
IF YOU WISH TO CONTACT ME FOR ANY REASON PLEASE CONTACT ME VIA FACEBOOK OR THROUGH RAISTLIN THANKIES!

Check out my brand new book blog: http://elfie-books.blogspot.co.uk



My special daughter sent from my special dad in heaven
I will love you forever dad...I miss you more than words can say





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elucidation
1st Year
1st Year
avatar

Female
Regist. date : 2007-11-12
Number of posts : 156
Age : 25
Real First Name : Juliette
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Slytherin
Wand : Exam not taken
Award Bar :
0 / 7000 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Mon Jan 14 2008, 14:52

I love this: "I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait." I have used it before. It makes me laugh everytime.


Some more:

(YOUR NAME)'s computer is broken right now. This is her fridge. Now, you can leave a message, but say it slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.

My computer lost my away message.

I had to make like a ball and bounce.


Hey wait, let me decide I'm here or not... till then please leave your message. I will get in touch with you once I get out of this confusion.


I am not at my desk at the moment, but I am close by. But if you yell real loud into your monitor...I might hear you, if not, I'll be back later.


If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring only one thing, what would it be? For those of you who didn't say a boat, I don't think I'll be talking to you anytime soon. For the rest of you, feel free to leave me a message.

Would you believe me if I told you I was away? I didn't think so. Well, I'm not away, do you believe that? I didn't think so either. Boy, this is going to be harder than I thought.


Sorry I'm not here right now because the mouse ran away with the computer and I jumped over the moon, I'll be back... someday.


---Will update with more later...
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ginnyunited
1st Year
1st Year


Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2007-10-14
Number of posts : 5673
Age : 22
Location : Helping Alice plan Bella's Wedding!
Real First Name : Cassandra (aka. Cassie, Casey, Cass, Case)
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Gryffindor
Crest :
Wand : Exam not taken
Award Bar :
0 / 7000 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Mon Jan 14 2008, 17:27

Here is a link to some Harry Potter away messages but I will post my favorites:
Page 1:
http://www.mugglenet.com/messengerstuff/awaymessages.shtml

Page 2:
http://www.mugglenet.com/messengerstuff/awaymessages2.shtml


"Seeing away messages no one else can see isn't a good sign, even in the Wizarding World."


Fluffy ate me. (heheehe! for some reason that one just cracks me up!)


You have reached the offices of the Supreme Lord Voldemort. His Exquisite Evilness is in a meeting with his Death Eaters, crafting deviously sinister plans for the demise of one Harold Potter. Please try again after the All Powerful Dark Master has conquered the Earth. Thank you and have a nice day.

Fresh out of skiving snackboxes, so I'm doing my homework. (I use this one a lot)


Mister Moony presents his compliments to %n, and begs him to keep his abnormaly large nose out of other people's business.
Mister Prongs agrees with Mister Moony and would like to add that %n is an ugly git.
Mister Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that would have a screenname at all.
Mister Wormtail bids %n good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball. (I used this one for a bit with my chorus teacher's name in it!)


Dear %n,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizard and Wizardry. Just keep staring at this away message and it will give you your booklist. No, really. Just. Keep. Staring.

K! That's all!
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KatieBellaTrix
5th Year
5th Year
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-10-24
Number of posts : 5236
Age : 23
Location : Jersey Girl Through && Through
Real First Name : Let's Leave it at Katie... XD
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Gryffindor Girlie
Crest :
Wand : Exam not taken
Award Bar :
53 / 70053 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Mon Jan 14 2008, 18:33

I love all of those. I usually go to iconator.com because there funny and they have a lot.
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Elana
5th Year
5th Year
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-04-16
Number of posts : 7562
Age : 25
Location : Ra-Ra-Ra-Raaaaavenclaw Tower
Real First Name : Elana
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : RAVENCLAW!
Crest :
Wand : Willow and Unicorn Tail Hair
Award Bar :
93 / 70093 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Mon Jan 14 2008, 20:03

I love funny away messages! Here's a site I use a lot --> http://bored.com/awayhumor/categories.php?catid=31

Some of my favorites..and yes, I have used them:

Would you believe me if I told you I was away? I didn't think so. Well, I'm not away, do you believe that? I didn't think so either. Boy, this is going to be harder than I thought.

TRYING TO FIND OUT HOW TO TURN THIS STUPID CAPS LOCK OFF.

This space for rent.

This away message will self destruct in 5 seconds.

Sorry I'm not here right now because the mouse ran away with the computer and I jumped over the moon, I'll be back... someday.

Sitting in front of my computer, waiting for something exciting to happen... This may take a while.

Once upon a time there was a person who was talking to their friends online... But all of a sudden that person had something else that they had to do... And out of nowhere, this away message popped up. The End.

One by one penguins steal my sanity.

It's very difficult to have an intelligent conversation with a pineapple but do you think that is going to stop me?

I'm out fighting crime.

I'm off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz...

I'll be back soon. I'm out in the backyard goat farming. Crazy goats.

I have taken myself hostage. If you ever want to see me again, send me $1,000 for ransom.

I am chasing my tail at the moment.. when I catch it I will talk to you.

Do you ever have the feeling that someone's reading you away message?

(YOUR NAME)'s computer is broken right now. This is her fridge. Now, you can leave a message, but say it slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.

--> And I don't remember where this one came from, but I use it to annoy a friend...:D

The tree outside looked lonely, so I'll be back as soon as I'm done giving it a hug

(he's not very supportive of hugging trees *rolls eyes*
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ag167
1st Year
1st Year
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2007-08-04
Number of posts : 7642
Age : 22
Location : England
Real First Name : Amy (AG)
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Slytherin
Crest :
Wand : Holly and Phoenix Tail Feather
Award Bar :
10 / 70010 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Tue Jan 15 2008, 08:34

Those are really good, *makes mental note to use them*

now my head hurts trying to remember them.... sad

~AG
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ginnyunited
1st Year
1st Year


Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2007-10-14
Number of posts : 5673
Age : 22
Location : Helping Alice plan Bella's Wedding!
Real First Name : Cassandra (aka. Cassie, Casey, Cass, Case)
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Gryffindor
Crest :
Wand : Exam not taken
Award Bar :
0 / 7000 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Tue Jan 15 2008, 18:19

hahaha! those were really good! I just copied them onto an e-mail and sent them to myself so I would always know what they were! hehehe! (7 more posts till I'm a 5th year! sooo excited!)
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stephy
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-06-03
Number of posts : 30328
Age : 27
Location : At the Cullen's house stealing Jasper
Real First Name : Stephanie, Polly calls me Stephums, Kim calls me Steffie and among others Im either mommy or granny
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : ravenclaw
Crest :
Wand : Walnut & Phoenix Tail Feather
Award Bar :
85 / 70085 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Thu Jul 03 2008, 21:06

The one i have on mine is Gone to eat paint chips. be back later

my one friend has Im riding the pony at walmart. be back when i run out of quarters
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kathrineee_anne
5th Year
5th Year
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2007-08-11
Number of posts : 4857
Age : 23
Location : Ragin' Cagin' (you know you love us...)
Real First Name : Katherine
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : slytherin.
Crest :
Wand : Willow and Dragon Heartstring
Award Bar :
16 / 70016 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Fri Jul 04 2008, 16:50

My friend has one that says this: When life gives u lemons make lemonade. Then find somone who's life gave them vodca and throw a party!

And the following have been used by me or my friends:
If you want to know where I am call a psychic! If you're too lazy to do that just leave me a message!

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for gothemopunk666, your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

'ello ole shap 'ow da govna (If you can read that, I personally applaud you! < - thats not part of the away message haha)
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stephy
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-06-03
Number of posts : 30328
Age : 27
Location : At the Cullen's house stealing Jasper
Real First Name : Stephanie, Polly calls me Stephums, Kim calls me Steffie and among others Im either mommy or granny
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : ravenclaw
Crest :
Wand : Walnut & Phoenix Tail Feather
Award Bar :
85 / 70085 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Fri Jul 04 2008, 19:53

Me: What do you want for your birthday? It has to be small enough to fit in an envolope

Friend: Idk

Me: why dont you know??

Friend: I want a pony XD

Me: Okay then. Ill just shove that into my envolope
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hppamela
5th Year
5th Year
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2007-11-04
Number of posts : 5190
Age : 33
Location : Valparaiso, In
Real First Name : Pamela
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Gryffie Lion--Hear my roar!
Crest :
Wand : Holly and Phoenix Tail Feather
Award Bar :
42 / 70042 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Fri Jul 04 2008, 21:02

Quote :
I'm spinning in my new expensive computer chair. So I'm away... Now I'm back... Away again... Back!.. And away..

That one made me about spit laughing. Several others did too, but this was my personal favourite.

This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you're IMing me thinking that I'm going to respond and the funny thing is that I'm sitting in front of the computer staring at the screen rolling on the floor laughing watching you IM me.

You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation. (positively brilliant, I think)

People that scan away messages for entertainment are pathetic. Let me know if you find any good ones.

I have been temporarily distracted by a shiny object. (That one fits me...Ooh look at the kitty!)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some away messages rhyme, and some don't.
(Don't know why that one amused me so much)

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now start over and read the sentence without the word cat.
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stephy
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-06-03
Number of posts : 30328
Age : 27
Location : At the Cullen's house stealing Jasper
Real First Name : Stephanie, Polly calls me Stephums, Kim calls me Steffie and among others Im either mommy or granny
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : ravenclaw
Crest :
Wand : Walnut & Phoenix Tail Feather
Award Bar :
85 / 70085 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Wed Jul 16 2008, 23:32

Im away... must you know more... I would XD
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Gryffindorgal4hp
1st Year
1st Year
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2008-02-14
Number of posts : 7979
Age : 24
Real First Name : Lucy
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : Gryffindor (Huffenclaw at heart)
Crest :
Wand : Exam not taken
Award Bar :
15 / 70015 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Thu Jul 31 2008, 04:52

Clare will be right back in a minute as she's having her tea, signed, her Mother.

BRB, mum wants me to have my bath.

"I'm away to the loo, be right back," said the girl with bowel trouble.

I helping potty train my dog...don't wanna talk about it.

Lol
LucyXX
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stephy
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
Head Girl : 5th Year : Death Eater
avatar

Female
Country :
Regist. date : 2006-06-03
Number of posts : 30328
Age : 27
Location : At the Cullen's house stealing Jasper
Real First Name : Stephanie, Polly calls me Stephums, Kim calls me Steffie and among others Im either mommy or granny
Warning :
0 / 30 / 3

House : ravenclaw
Crest :
Wand : Walnut & Phoenix Tail Feather
Award Bar :
85 / 70085 / 700


PostSubject: Re: Amusing Away Messages   Fri Aug 08 2008, 22:52

Im off to find Edward.... Might be killed by Bella in the process... dont expect me back
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